Deeper, Still. It's a constant thought lately. The lyrics from "Good, Good Father" ring in my ears and stir something within me every time I sing them: Oh, it's love so undeniable The Lord waits for us to come to Him. He welcomes us with open arms no matter how we come to Him. In fact, we can't truly seek out and know our need for Him until we're broken. It's in our brokenness that we realize we have nothing and He has everything.
He takes us by the hand and leads us along. He's patient and waits for us, not rushing us, but definitely taking us at our word when we say, "I want to serve You, Lord..." When we truly seek to know Him better and to do His Will, we learn that surface submission and minimal effort are really no submission and no effort at all. The length of time between our surrender and our realization of what true surrender looks like is different for all of us. Some "get it" right away, others take years, and still others may never have that moment of true awareness. Surrender means opening His Word and seeing what it really says-- not what we want it to say, what we've been taught that it says, or what others believe it says. Surrender means being willing to change or re-think what we believe if it doesn't align with scripture. Surrender means putting our pride away and being willing to look foolish in order to obey and glorify God. Surrender means no longer being distracted by the cares of this world, but focusing on that which is eternal.
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It can feel like torture to carry a dream in your heart and feel like no one truly understands it. The deepest burning of your soul feels like it will burst out of you and you want to share it with someone. But what if that someone isn't available? For whatever reason, what if you get shut down (like I blogged about here), tuned out or misunderstood? Is it possible that sometimes God keeps you from sharing with others because he's working out something within you that is just between you and Him Then Jesus entered a house, and again a crowd gathered, so that he and his disciples were not even able to eat. When his family heard about this, they went to take charge of him, for they said, 'He is out of his mind.'" Mark 3:30-21 Even Jesus' family thought He was crazy. That's a source of comfort, I hope, for those whose friends and family don't "get" them or their mission and passions.
Not everyone will understand what you're doing. That's okay. Not everyone will support your dream. That's okay. Not everyone will "get" your calling or assignment. That's okay. When we know who we are in the Lord, it matters less and less what others think. And even more comforting may be that at the end of His life, Jesus's mother and brothers joined Him (Acts 1:14). Ever have one of those epiphany moments where you KNOW that the Lord is leading you to X, Y, or Z and you're like, "Yes, Lord! Here I am! Send me!" And you shoot out of the starting blocks like a bat out of Hades at a break-neck pace, ready to run the race and fight the good fight? You and the Lord are tight. He's holding you and you're veritably leaping over mountaintops and you're all like, "I got this, Lord!" and you straighten your cape... And then all of the sudden, it's like, that stuff is hard. You stumble. You feel like you have boulders tied around your ankles and defeat nearly crushes you. And it hits you...when God calls us to places, it isn't always easy. In fact, we should just assume it will be difficult. But for some confounding reason, while we're soaring with the Lord, we forget that there will also be times when He requires that we walk on our own two feet. And those times will be trying and challenging...and worth it. It's during those times that we walk through thorns and over rocky paths that our faith in Him grows. Today was one of those moments when I sobbed as I figuratively picked the rocks out of my shoes. I questioned God and the placement of my life. I wondered why I was where I was and doing what I'm doing. I was defeated. Beaten. Lost. I took a walk and popped in the ear buds to blare out the stress of the day. As I was walking and crying, swallowing my pride and lamenting my weaknes and failure, I heard the Lord whisper. His is always a small voice, isn't it? And what I heard was that I wasn't a failure at all. In fact, the enemy was so angry at the progress that had been made that he was amping up his attacks so that I'd become discouraged and distracted. And for a time, it worked. Once I realized I was being played I wised up and I got angry. Where did I ever get the notion that following where God leads equals comfort? I forget every. single. time. that God's work is always completed with blood, sweat, and tears. Perseverance. Tenacity. As God reminded me of that, I reminded the devil that I'm on a mission and I don't have time to be distracted. I texted my friend the realization I'd come to: I said that the enemy must be pretty ticked off at our progress for him to lash out at me like that. What did my friend say? She reminded me of the hashtag the Lord gave me this year: Yes, ma'am. We #keepshowingup because it's what we do. We don't back down. We put one foot in front of the other and keep marching.
I posted this on Facebook today: What's our goal when sharing the Gospel? Is it to introduce someone to Jesus or is it to show our Biblical prowess? Sharing the Gospel is not a "mic drop" moment. It's a precious invitation that we extend to that individual to meet our Savior...the Savior who showed us grace and mercy when we didn't deserve it. I'm concerned that we are taking the commission to "Go!" all wrong. Jesus' parting words on this earth as He ascended into Heaven to sit at the Father's Right Hand were for us to be the Good News tellers. We are to share about Jesus and how He saved us from our sins. We are to express God's unmerited favor for us and Jesus' unparalleled sacrifice for us in His death on the cross. We are to be the conduit for an eternal, life-saving, soul-saving introduction to the One True God. But, sadly, I see so much of the opposite. I see pride that lends itself to "telling it like it is" and throat punching people with the Word of God as we laugh about how the other person didn't stand a chance against our Biblical knowledge. That reeks of pride and condescension. Jesus never condescended to the lost. Instead, He lowered Himself to wash their feet, look them in the eye, tell them He didn't condemn them, and offer them an opportunity to change. Our job here is never to codemn, shame, degrade, or demean. Our job is never to "put someone in their place." Our job is to humbly extend an invitation to our precious Savior, just as He extended one to us. Our job is to recognize and step into every opportunity the Lord puts in front of us to stand in the gap for someone who is lost. We share Jesus, we demonstrate with our lives that we mean what we say, and then we pray as the Holy Spirit does His work. I think sometimes we believe that if we don't identify, correct and condemn every aspect of someone's incorrect doctrine, beliefs, or theology then they will never see the error of their ways. But I submit that if our motive and motivation in doing so is to shame that person or puff out our chests because we "have it right," our efforts are done merely to glorify ourselves. That will probably lead to shaming the other person and causing their defensiveness and bitterness. Jesus left people better than how He found them. He provided the Truth wrapped soundly in grace, mercy, and love. He had to...He is the embodiment of all of those things. There is no other way for Him. "All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work." 2 timothy 3:16-17 If we're using tactics that are opposite of what Jesus used, then we are wrong. The Word of God is for edifying, not tearing down. The result of the Word of God will and should always lead to righteousness. If our actions are intended to lead to shame or guilt and not repentance and relationship, we aren't doing God's work. If our tactics are to elevate ourselves in any way, we are not humbled or submitted to God's Will. If our tactics match those of the enemy, we need to take a closer look in the mirror and identify exactly who we're partnered with and what our true motives are. We've been entrusted with beautiful, eternal work by the Lord Himself. We are not the Holy Spirit. It is not our responsibility to convict or change anyone. It's not our job to slam the door, literally or figuratively, in the face of anyone the Lord puts in our path. Because we've deemed someone as missing the mark, we often write them off and ridicule them all the way to hell. But what if the Lord put them in our paths, counting on us to love the way Jesus loved and instead we condemn and scold? We have work to do. BIG, important work and we can't afford to move toward our own agenda. We've been given our walking orders and even a living example of how to carry them out. We must emulate the One who did it perfectly and trust that He will see it through to completion. We are to be bold and obedient while also approaching others with our faces to the ground in humility. Please, approach others who are lost with grace, grace, and more grace. They. Are. Lost. That does not equate to them being the enemy. "For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places." Ephesians 6:12 We have one enemy and the man or woman standing in front of us is not it. We will never win the battle of spiritual warfare by emulating the enemy. Let's be intent on approaching these assignments we're given in the way Jesus did.
There I sat in the warm, late-summer breeze. I was sitting on a bench in a small community park, ear buds in, book in hand. My eyes were everywhere but on the pages of my book though, as I scanned the park looking for...I didn't really know. Only 15 minutes prior I'd been reading in my home, counting down the hours until I picked up my kids from school. The book I was reading, the same book I held in my hands on the park bench, was When Heaven Invades Earth by Bill Johnson. I could hardly put it down the first time I read it. It was so good, in fact, that I'd just begun reading it that day for the second time. What drew me to it was the focus on how to access Heaven and the Spiritual realm in our everyday lives. I'm starving for that. I'm ravenous for living life the way Jesus did. Everywhere Jesus went He healed and taught, and watched lives change by bringing the Kingdom of God to people. I'm thirsting to death for the Living Water and sick to death of living a surface, comfortable life. I'm ready to see miracles right in front of my eyes and --better yet--to be a part of those miracles happening! So, I'd settled in, ready to launch into this book again when a tiny thought crept in: "Do you just want to read about it or do you want to live it?" I shrugged it off and continued reading. I didn't get much further, though, until I could very clearly see the community park close to my house. I saw myself sitting on a park bench. And the more I thought about it, the more excited I got at the idea that God was telling me to go there...to that park...and sit on that bench. And then I shut it down because I felt ridiculous. But a fire welled up in my belly and I couldn't deny what I was feeling. I kept thinking, "what if..." WHAT IF I did go to the park and sit on that bench and God showed up? It was too much. I jumped up, grabbed my things and set off. And a few minutes later, there I sat on that park bench. I was alone in a deserted park. I sat for about 20 minutes. I thought "Okay, God, I'm here!" I was waiting for God to show off. I had the feeling that I was supposed to be waiting for someone to pray with. A few minutes in and I started thinking I was waiting for my sanity to show up. But then there she was... She came up behind me, hustling while clutching her over-sized bag and large plastic tumbler. I remember noticing how red her hair was. I also had a few things run through my mind as I watched her face closely:
My breath caught as I watched her walk beside me, into the center of the gazebo in front of me, and then she stopped. All I could see of her in the gazebo, below the bushes, were her feet. I stared so hard at those feet, all while my heart hammered in my chest. My mind said "Go approcah her" while my feet and my backside screamed "Stay right where you are!" Before I knew it, she scurried out the other side of the gazebo and hurried into the distance. I couldn't bring myself to get off the bench. I was glued to my spot. And then she was gone. I'd blown it. Eventually, I found my feet and walked toward where I'd seen her go. I walked around the block, not seeing her again, and found my way back to the bench. I sat for what felt like forever feeling like I'd just missed my opportunity to be used by God and watch as He worked a miracle. I was miserable. I prayed asking for forgiveness. I asked God to give me another chance even though I didn't deserve it. A few others walked through the park, but none that I felt compelled to approach. I sat in my spot, wondering if I'd totally blown it. I wondered how long I would stay, realizing I couldn't sit all day. The thought of "1:00" flashed in my mind and I decided that I would stay until then. It was 12:40. 15 minutes later, at 5 minutes till one, I saw a woman come into the park with a red umbrella over her head. I couldn't see her face. As she passed by me, I strained to see under the umbrella and sure enough, it was her! I nearly leapt off the bench and ran after her, worried that I would look like I was trying to mug her. She was walking at a very brisk pace. I called out "Excuse me?" and she turned to face me. It was obvious that she didn't have a lot of time. I asked if she'd walked through the park before and she said she had. That's when I noticed her over-sized bag and plastic tumbler. Then I knew it was her! I approcahed sheepishly and said, "I know this is probably going to sound crazy, but when you passed through before, I believe God wanted me to ask you if there is anything I can pray about for you." Then I waited for her to look at me like I had two heads. She told me it didn't seem crazy. And then she told me: "I don't really have anything for you to pray about. But I do need a car!" I asked if I could pray with her about a car and she checked her watch, anxious to get going. She had to be back to work. She relented though, and gave me her hand to pray. I asked if her name was Kathy and she said no, but she told me what it was. We prayed. I thanked God for allowing me to meet her and pray with her. I prayed for God to reveal Himself to her in a different way than He ever had before and to draw her closer to Him. She started shaking and made a small sound. Then I prayed for financial provision and breakthrough and for a car. I finished by telling God that I was thankful that He's a God of second chances because I hesitated when she first came past me, but He allowed me a second chance to meet her. Then I said amen. She thanked me for praying and started to walk away. She said, "Funny you'd say that about second chances...I'm in a place of second chances right now..." And then she was gone. I stood for what seemed like a day, smiling like a total idiot. I was overwhelmed with one thought: "God is so good." In fact, that's what my new friend called over her shoulder to me as she was walking away. She never asked my name and I like it that way. I'm praying she does get a car and there will be no mistaking who brought it to her: the Lord. I practically floated home and rehashed it all in my head a thousand times. Out of curiosity, I searched for her, knowing only her first name, and miraculously found her on Facebook. I was struck by a few things: her red hair in every picture, and that she's been through many hard struggles, some recent. And if I'd doubted for a minute that the Lord was in the center of it all, she and I have a mutual friend. That friend's name? Kathy (and it doesn't matter one bit that it's spelled "Cathie"!) I am so grateful that I went. I could have missed watching the Lord in action and the immense privilege of getting to be a part of this. I know many could write this off as coincidence or happenstance, but I know better. I'm waiting now, listening intently for where He sends me next. I almost robbed myself of this opportunity. I almost let my fear of what others thought of me or of looking foolish cause me to miss this. I'm so grateful for second chances. What about you? Will you go when He calls you to wait on a park bench? See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland." Isaiah 43:19 We shopped, planned, separated out, and packed until I thought backpacks would burst. Outfits laid out the night before were thrown on with a mixture of excitement and nerves and breakfast was gulped down. Then, we rushed around, and hurried to each school.
Hesitant steps and nervous stomachs led us into the middle school where our oldest barely looked back before turning the corner and out of my sight. Just like that. In a lightning-fast span of 3 seconds he went from being my elementary kid to my middle schooler. As he snuck one last glance at me, I felt my heart shatter into a million pieces. And then he was gone. 7 of us walked into that school and only 6 of us walked out. I held in my tears. We raced to the next school and worked up a sweat getting all 5 to their classes. Forms were filled out and backpacks and lunches desposited amid a blur of "you're going to have a great day"s and whispered "I love you's". I walked out of the school empty handed, eyes full. Time keeps marching on, despite my best efforts to slow it down and savor every moment. God keeps reminding me that these beauties He's blessed us with aren't really ours. These kids who I love with all of myself and who are amazing kids are amazing because He has a purpose for them. It's a crazy balancing act every day to master when to hold on and when to let go. I sat in the car in our driveway for 10 minutes before I could bring myself to go into the empty house. My job for the moment was done. They were out of my hands and entrusted into someone else's. It's the scariest feeling in the world. And as hard as it is, I know it's just the tip of the iceberg. In no time at all, these kids will be walking graduation, wedding aisles, and out the door to their own lives. I'm both proud and terrified. They're great kids and I want the world to see that, but I don't like sharing them. The Lord has been leading me to this day my whole life. And He'll continue leading me to every new place. Even when it feels like the wheels are spinning too fast and I can't hold on, He's there. He gifted us these kids to train up and send out. For Him. We have the immense privilege of watching them grow, mature, and learn...and then soar. I'll take the gut-wrenching ache of watching them walk away over never having the pleasure of seeing these amazing people grow into His plan for them. In this moment, it's all too much. God chose us to parent these kids. He chose us, knowing our short-comings and (many) faults. What an honor. Today I'll cry. Tomorrow I'll cry less. Before I know it, the days will be common and my heart won't ache as much. But never for a moment will I take for granted the gift it is to parent these beauties. I'm all fired up. I've been chatting with one of my sweetest friends and we're moving mountains in our conversation. I've been thinking about a trend that I see among many Christians. The enemy is so good at what he does. He has us all mixed up and fooled into thinking that we aren't worthy. He has us confused with how value-less we feel and with doubting that God REALLY loves us as we are. And something about Satan...he doesn't change his M.O. He might change his tactics to suit each person and situation, but he always does the same things. He has a limited tool bag. He doesn't come out and say to us, "You are unworthy to God." What he does instead is make us question, "Am I worthy to God?" just like he did to Eve in the Garden. He never said directly to Eve, "You are allowed to eat of the fruit." Rather, he said, "Did God really say that?" And then he watched as Eve destroyed herself by allowing the seed of doubt that he planted infect her heart and her thinking. When we take it upon ourselves to do his work, he can stand back and gleefully rub his hands together as we
And the enemy never has to break a sweat. (Usually) our first course of action with a sister or brother struggling with low self-esteem or self-worth is to comfort them and remind them of all of their good qualities. We want that feeling of worthlessness to go away and for them to feel better. It may come from a solid, Biblically-based place, even. But something that hit me today as I was looking up verses with the word "worthy" is this:
In all of these verses (and there are many more) He who is "worthy" is the Lord. In fact, when we look at many other verses in relation to being "worthy" we see this:
In fact....our worth should be wrapped up in this: 1 Thessalonians 2:12 (NIV) Encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory. (emphasis mine) Our worth comes from Jesus. Nothing in us is worthy on its own, but only by the Blood of the Lamb are we counted worthy. For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you. We continually ask God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives, so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of his holy people in the kingdom of light. For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins. (Colossions 1:9-14, emphasis mine.) The next time we're questioning our worth and getting caught up in that pattern of thinking, let's remind ourselves that on our own, we aren't worthy. Only through Christ are we considered worthy in the Father's eyes. And the more we listen to OUR OWN THOUGHTS about ourselves, the less space and energy we have to put toward what we're called to: live lives worthy of the gospel of Christ. The more we hear ourselves or the enemy, the less we are able to hear God. And he said to all, 'If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.' (Luke 9:23) I believe the "passions and desires" referenced in Galatians 9:24 include the desire for validation and the desire to be needed and important as according to the world's standards. Where are we seeking those things? From people? From our job? Our ministry? Our finances? Our possessions? Our giftings? If we aren't seeking our worthiness in the Lord, we're seeking after idols. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. (Matthew 6:21) The things whispered in our ears in the dark that are contrary to God's Word (that He loves you enough to send Jesus--John 3:16), MUST be brought into the light. Lay it at the foot of the cross, at the altar of God, and let Him consume it with fire.
"Oh sure! That would be nice!" I said, smiling. I nodded my head with exuberance and smiled a huge, cheesey smile. This sweet woman had just invited me to her house to sit and chat while the kids played. I grinned so bright and agreed what a great idea it was, all the while thinking to myself, "That will never happen." Why? Because I didn't like her? No. I liked her a lot. She's sweet and kind and I've been dying to make friends. The reaosn is because my home is my bubble, my safe place. I do what I want. I wear my jammies all day. I can shower, or not. I don't feel pressure or obligated to exert myself in any way outside of what makes me comfortable. And it's in that word--comfortable--that we get the crux of why I knew I'd never happen over to her house to visit. I like being comfortable. And who doesn't, really? Most people don't go out of their way to be uncomfortable. In fact, we take a lifetime usually, to build walls, and draw boundaries that keep us safe and secure. I think I've likened "comfort" with safe. I assume that if it "hurts" it's not good. I used to lament while watching my babies cry, "why did God make teething so painful? What purpose does that pain possibly serve?" But as I sit here thinking about all of this, I wonder if it's just one way He shows us that pain and discomfort doesn't always equal "bad" and is, in fact, necessary to grow and mature. Who knows if the time spent in the cocoon is terribly painful for the butterfly? It may seem to the onlooker to be effortless, but maybe it's not. {If you know scientific data to answer this question, let's forego that for the sake of my point, m'kay?} Maybe it's excruciating, but OH! what a beautiful breakthrough happens when it emerges, fully changed and gorgeous! I've been convicted so much lately about my life and the level of comfort I shamelessly work to maintain. I go just as far as necesary, but never past where it stings. That woman who needs a friend? I'll text her. That woman who is hurting? I'll give her a hug. That woman who no one else wants anyting to do with? Well, I'll pray for her and point her out to others so they can build community with her. I'm nice like that. What I won't do? Oh that list is much longer. Pretty much anything that requires I extend myself beyond what I feel like in the moment is where I stop. Sure, I write. I blog. I lead Bible studies. I even speak on occasion in front of large crowds. But I'm realizing that even if I write or speak about Jesus to an audience of millions, if I never truly extend myself to those in my sphere, one-on-one, to build real community, to show them what Jesus looks like...I'm not really serving. If I only do what feels good or "not that bad," what sacrifice is it to the Father? Thankfully, Jesus went far above and beyond what merely didn't feel "that bad" for us. Not only in the pivotal and immeasurable action of dying on the cross and raising again, but in His everyday life during His ministry, He gave it all. His entire life was dedicated to serving others. He stole away on occasion to refill and spend time with the Father, but the majority of time in scripture, we see Him ministering; to the disciples, to the hurting and broken, preaching, and teaching. His life was an example of how we should love: sacrificial. 100% in, not merely toeing the water, wading ankle deep. Sure, He preached on hillsides and performed miracles, but He also spent much of His time in people's homes, eating with them, getting to know them, sharing in their personal space. He wandered from place to place, never putting down roots for very long, all in an effort to reach and get to know as many as possible. And all to be an example to us of sacrificial service. When others extended invitations to Him to come to their homes, He went. Often He went into the homes of those who others who were "religious" or "holy" would never consider. Jesus went. He reclined at their tables and ate with them. He had conversation. He saw below the surface of what everyone else saw. Why am I not doing that more? Because it's uncomfortable. I've felt God put a messgae on my heart for some time now. I didn't really get it at first, but it's starting to become clearer: "You're going to do this differently. You're not going to look like everyone else. Your ministry will be your life." I believe He's starting to reveal to me what that entails. It means that I realize my importance lies in Him and how He views me...not in how I view myself or how others view me. It means going to that friend's house, even when it feels awkward. It means remembering that woman's name who I saw at church for 3 years {and even hugged on many occasions!!} It means realizing with humility and regret that she never failed to say hello to me by name, but I , to this day, can't tell you what hers is. It means being there when someone needs to sloppy cry and share their heart, even when I feel like it's "drama" and a mess of their own making. It means getting to know without judgment those who are different than I am--even those who have different beliefs than I do. It means being available--really available--to someone when they're weak and broken. I like the clean, easy problems that can be solved with a prayer or a Bible study. The deep wounds that are messy and require surgery are the ones that I tend to run from. But Jesus didn't. He approached the demon-possessed, the leperous, and even the decaying dead. He never held back. He gave Himself freely. What would my world look like if I did that? What would our world look ike if we all did that? “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation." Mark 16:15 That is one of the last statements Jesus ever uttered on this earth before He ascended into Heaven to sit at the right hand of the Father. When you're getting ready to part company with someone you love more than life itself (as literally proven, in Jesus' case), and you know you won't see them again for millenia, don't you think you'd take careful consideration as to what your final words to them are? I think so. I especially think so when we look at who Jesus was (and is): The perfect One. The Son of God. The Messiah. The Creator of the world. The Alpha and the Omega. The Beginning and the End. So, if we take into account who Jesus was (and is) and that He was giving final instructions to His disciples on how they should continue their work--His Work-- and how they should live, think, and act, how much weight should we put on these words? These directives? I've read these verses countless times, but only NOW am I moved to action. Thankfully, God is patient and works with me where I am, but when He's ready to move me...He moves me. And here I am...moved. Jesus said to "Go into all the world." "Go into" As believers, and often as church bodies, I think it's easy to get comfortable waiting for those who don't know the Lord to come to us. We provide great pastors, meaty sermons, top-notch worship, amazing children's classes, and a litany of high-quality Bible studies. We have hearts to serve and motivation to love others the way Christ loved. But. We do all of that within our 4 walls and that's where we tend to stop. And as I read more and more about who Jesus was on this earth, the way He loved people, and the way He was IN the communities and dwelt among the people, I'm convicted that we so often miss the mark. I miss the mark. Pastors, sermons, worship, children's ministry, Bible studies...they're massively important. They are. I believe that with my whole heart. I also believe that they're important components to a greater whole. They don't (or I believe shouldn't) stand alone. They shouldn't be our "GO TO" method for winning a world to Christ. What about all those who will never come within our four walls for whatever reason? I fall back on a lot of excuses when faced with the scary reality of going into the world:
Have I hit any of yours? Reading over those makes my heart beat fast and feel like a hammered thumb. Ouch. It's cliche to say that there is a waiting, hurting world out there that needs us. It's cliche, but it's true. Jesus made Himself available to the people in the communities He visited. He ate dinner in their homes. He looked at them when they spoke. He had mercy on them when they were hurting. He answered their questions. What if going into the world didn't necessarily mean preaching on a street corner, but it did mean making ourselves available and seen? What if it means getting to know those who look, act, think, and live differently than we do? What if it means, walking in our neighborhood, our community, and our cities, and praying for others as we see them? What if it means passing out water bottles or blankets to the homeless, police, firefighters, etc? What if it meant singing on the sidewalk about Jesus' love? What if it meant watching for people who struggle or are hurting and offering to pray with them? What if it meant being visible and open to conversation, even with a stranger, even with someone we would normally not give a scecond thought? What if it meant leaving behind the responsibility that "we" will save souls and instead we just make ourselves accessible? What if we choose to step outside of our comfort zone, unrehearsed, without expectation, and just be available? I feel uneasy launching into something like this without planning. And some planning should be done, for sure. But...what if we're at our most refreshing and approachable when we're without expectation and fumbling our way through it. Slick, polished, perfect images tend to inspire insecurity in others and a stand-offish-ness. What if we just offered who we are; nothing more, nothing less? And then stepped back to watch God show off? What if we took Jesus at His Word and actually went out into the world? I believe we would be floored with how many would, in turn, walk in our doors and fill up those four walls we works so hard to stay within. As Scripture says, 'Anyone who believes in him will never be put to shame.' For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile—the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him, for, 'Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.' Did you catch that up there? "How can anyone preach unless they are sent?" Being sent literally means: to allow one to depart, that he may be in a state of liberty; to order one to depart, send off.
Let's have beautiful feet, friends! Let's "GO" and be available to share Jesus with a world who needs it. I knew about a milisecond before it happend that it was a bad idea. I was using an old pair of scissors to pry the staples off the back of a picture when the rusty, dulled point slipped, taking with it a significant chunk of my thumb. By instinct, I dropped the scissors and picture, and immediately grabbed my throbbing, bleeding thumb with my other hand. I squeezed tight and slammed my eyes shut. I didn't want to look and see the damage. I didn't want to acknowledge that it had even happened. I held my breath and waited for the inevitable rush of pain that always lags a bit behind the initial injury. It didn't disappoint. My thumb suddenly felt as big as my head. My kids gathered around me, asking what happened and wanting to see the injury. I don't know about you, but when I get hurt--especially this bad--I become like a wounded bobcat. My fangs were out and I roared at everyone to leave me alone! I ran around the room, trying to outrun the pain, ignoring my kids' questions and needs in that moment. I was certain that I'd nearly severed my thumb and too afraid to confirm that fear. I was panicked, stunned, fearful, and in pain. Those are not the emotions of someone willing to handle a crisis in a rational manner. Later....much, much later...I was able to look back on that scene and realize how closely it relates to how I feel when I am wounded by a relationship, when I have a falling out, or face conflict. I typically react in all the same ways. I:
Do you respond this way as well? When you get hurt or encounter conflict, do you figuratively squeeze your eyes shut and worry about one thing: your wound? Does your main focus become yourself over anyone else, as you try to escape from, anticipate, and alleviate the pain? I've experienced this also from another perspective. I've watched as others get hurt and limp to a corner to nurse their wounds. They become consumed with their pain and how to make it better, forgetting that others around them have needs and hurts as well. It makes for a very one-sided friendship. As much as it stings, I'm certain I've done this to others. Suddenly, their whole world revolves around what they're going through and how they feel. Conversations with these people tend to revolve around their situation, rehashing (and rehashing...and rehashing) the ins and outs of it. Suddenly, the give-and-take of friendship becomes solely "take." What to do? My initial response wants to be to get angry and call the person out, but that would only make the situation worse. I think...and I haven't got this all figured out, this relationship/conflict thing...the thing to do is extend grace. Ugh. Yes, grace. That thing that we want lavished on ourselves, but dole out sparsely to others. Yeah, that. Calling out a wounded person for being self-absorbed will only add salt to the already gaping, festering wound. No good. Instead, maybe praying for and over that person and allowing them time to heal is the better choice? I didn't say it's the easier choice. Chances are (and hopefully so) when that person does heal and comes to us, the relationship won't be damaged or severed because we've drawn a line in the sand. Instead, we may actually hasten their healing with our patience, prayer, and grace. Here's to living life with copious amounts of grace that build beautiful friendships! |
Mandy is:Wife to 1. Mom to 6. Lovin' Jesus. Living' Life. Laughin' at the craziness of it all. Archives
September 2017
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Mandy Pagano