I'm all fired up. I've been chatting with one of my sweetest friends and we're moving mountains in our conversation. I've been thinking about a trend that I see among many Christians. The enemy is so good at what he does. He has us all mixed up and fooled into thinking that we aren't worthy. He has us confused with how value-less we feel and with doubting that God REALLY loves us as we are. And something about Satan...he doesn't change his M.O. He might change his tactics to suit each person and situation, but he always does the same things. He has a limited tool bag. He doesn't come out and say to us, "You are unworthy to God." What he does instead is make us question, "Am I worthy to God?" just like he did to Eve in the Garden. He never said directly to Eve, "You are allowed to eat of the fruit." Rather, he said, "Did God really say that?" And then he watched as Eve destroyed herself by allowing the seed of doubt that he planted infect her heart and her thinking. When we take it upon ourselves to do his work, he can stand back and gleefully rub his hands together as we
And the enemy never has to break a sweat. (Usually) our first course of action with a sister or brother struggling with low self-esteem or self-worth is to comfort them and remind them of all of their good qualities. We want that feeling of worthlessness to go away and for them to feel better. It may come from a solid, Biblically-based place, even. But something that hit me today as I was looking up verses with the word "worthy" is this:
In all of these verses (and there are many more) He who is "worthy" is the Lord. In fact, when we look at many other verses in relation to being "worthy" we see this:
In fact....our worth should be wrapped up in this: 1 Thessalonians 2:12 (NIV) Encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory. (emphasis mine) Our worth comes from Jesus. Nothing in us is worthy on its own, but only by the Blood of the Lamb are we counted worthy. For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you. We continually ask God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives, so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of his holy people in the kingdom of light. For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins. (Colossions 1:9-14, emphasis mine.) The next time we're questioning our worth and getting caught up in that pattern of thinking, let's remind ourselves that on our own, we aren't worthy. Only through Christ are we considered worthy in the Father's eyes. And the more we listen to OUR OWN THOUGHTS about ourselves, the less space and energy we have to put toward what we're called to: live lives worthy of the gospel of Christ. The more we hear ourselves or the enemy, the less we are able to hear God. And he said to all, 'If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.' (Luke 9:23) I believe the "passions and desires" referenced in Galatians 9:24 include the desire for validation and the desire to be needed and important as according to the world's standards. Where are we seeking those things? From people? From our job? Our ministry? Our finances? Our possessions? Our giftings? If we aren't seeking our worthiness in the Lord, we're seeking after idols. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. (Matthew 6:21) The things whispered in our ears in the dark that are contrary to God's Word (that He loves you enough to send Jesus--John 3:16), MUST be brought into the light. Lay it at the foot of the cross, at the altar of God, and let Him consume it with fire.
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"Oh sure! That would be nice!" I said, smiling. I nodded my head with exuberance and smiled a huge, cheesey smile. This sweet woman had just invited me to her house to sit and chat while the kids played. I grinned so bright and agreed what a great idea it was, all the while thinking to myself, "That will never happen." Why? Because I didn't like her? No. I liked her a lot. She's sweet and kind and I've been dying to make friends. The reaosn is because my home is my bubble, my safe place. I do what I want. I wear my jammies all day. I can shower, or not. I don't feel pressure or obligated to exert myself in any way outside of what makes me comfortable. And it's in that word--comfortable--that we get the crux of why I knew I'd never happen over to her house to visit. I like being comfortable. And who doesn't, really? Most people don't go out of their way to be uncomfortable. In fact, we take a lifetime usually, to build walls, and draw boundaries that keep us safe and secure. I think I've likened "comfort" with safe. I assume that if it "hurts" it's not good. I used to lament while watching my babies cry, "why did God make teething so painful? What purpose does that pain possibly serve?" But as I sit here thinking about all of this, I wonder if it's just one way He shows us that pain and discomfort doesn't always equal "bad" and is, in fact, necessary to grow and mature. Who knows if the time spent in the cocoon is terribly painful for the butterfly? It may seem to the onlooker to be effortless, but maybe it's not. {If you know scientific data to answer this question, let's forego that for the sake of my point, m'kay?} Maybe it's excruciating, but OH! what a beautiful breakthrough happens when it emerges, fully changed and gorgeous! I've been convicted so much lately about my life and the level of comfort I shamelessly work to maintain. I go just as far as necesary, but never past where it stings. That woman who needs a friend? I'll text her. That woman who is hurting? I'll give her a hug. That woman who no one else wants anyting to do with? Well, I'll pray for her and point her out to others so they can build community with her. I'm nice like that. What I won't do? Oh that list is much longer. Pretty much anything that requires I extend myself beyond what I feel like in the moment is where I stop. Sure, I write. I blog. I lead Bible studies. I even speak on occasion in front of large crowds. But I'm realizing that even if I write or speak about Jesus to an audience of millions, if I never truly extend myself to those in my sphere, one-on-one, to build real community, to show them what Jesus looks like...I'm not really serving. If I only do what feels good or "not that bad," what sacrifice is it to the Father? Thankfully, Jesus went far above and beyond what merely didn't feel "that bad" for us. Not only in the pivotal and immeasurable action of dying on the cross and raising again, but in His everyday life during His ministry, He gave it all. His entire life was dedicated to serving others. He stole away on occasion to refill and spend time with the Father, but the majority of time in scripture, we see Him ministering; to the disciples, to the hurting and broken, preaching, and teaching. His life was an example of how we should love: sacrificial. 100% in, not merely toeing the water, wading ankle deep. Sure, He preached on hillsides and performed miracles, but He also spent much of His time in people's homes, eating with them, getting to know them, sharing in their personal space. He wandered from place to place, never putting down roots for very long, all in an effort to reach and get to know as many as possible. And all to be an example to us of sacrificial service. When others extended invitations to Him to come to their homes, He went. Often He went into the homes of those who others who were "religious" or "holy" would never consider. Jesus went. He reclined at their tables and ate with them. He had conversation. He saw below the surface of what everyone else saw. Why am I not doing that more? Because it's uncomfortable. I've felt God put a messgae on my heart for some time now. I didn't really get it at first, but it's starting to become clearer: "You're going to do this differently. You're not going to look like everyone else. Your ministry will be your life." I believe He's starting to reveal to me what that entails. It means that I realize my importance lies in Him and how He views me...not in how I view myself or how others view me. It means going to that friend's house, even when it feels awkward. It means remembering that woman's name who I saw at church for 3 years {and even hugged on many occasions!!} It means realizing with humility and regret that she never failed to say hello to me by name, but I , to this day, can't tell you what hers is. It means being there when someone needs to sloppy cry and share their heart, even when I feel like it's "drama" and a mess of their own making. It means getting to know without judgment those who are different than I am--even those who have different beliefs than I do. It means being available--really available--to someone when they're weak and broken. I like the clean, easy problems that can be solved with a prayer or a Bible study. The deep wounds that are messy and require surgery are the ones that I tend to run from. But Jesus didn't. He approached the demon-possessed, the leperous, and even the decaying dead. He never held back. He gave Himself freely. What would my world look like if I did that? What would our world look ike if we all did that? |
Mandy is:Wife to 1. Mom to 6. Lovin' Jesus. Living' Life. Laughin' at the craziness of it all. Archives
September 2017
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Mandy Pagano